AI knew before I did 👀


Hey Reader,

This week, when searching my files for something, I found a spreadsheet I'd made a few years ago where I'd collated my qualifications, accomplishments, feedback and a survey I'd done of people who know me when I was training as a coach.

I updated it, and then asked AI to analyse it.

I'm not sure what I was expecting but it was NOT what I got:

  • I'm world-class at facilitating training
  • I have the kind of proof most speakers never accumulate (but have done nothing with it)
  • I've been massively underpricing and underselling myself

The irony is not lost on me.

I spent nearly three years as the face of a Google initiative helping people from underrepresented groups talk about their accomplishments and break through glass ceilings.

And I needed AI to tell me what my own evidence already showed.

I've been sitting with why that is.

The silence around our own accomplishments runs deeper than confidence.

There's a biological reason self-promotion stays hard for introverts.

Research published in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that extroverts form strong associations between social contexts and reward. Their brains learn that talking about themselves feels good, and that association strengthens with every repetition.

Over time, self-promotion becomes automatic.

For introverts, whose brains run on acetylcholine rather than dopamine, that conditioning doesn't happen.

Every time we're asked to make ourselves visible, to name what we've built, to say out loud what we're worth, we're starting from scratch.

The discomfort doesn't diminish with practice the way it does for extroverts. Our wiring just doesn't work that way.

So the proof sits in a folder somewhere. The price stays lower than it should. The accomplishment gets attributed to luck, or timing, or the team.

Because our brains were never wired to find self-promotion rewarding, rather than because we lack anything.

So this week's question:

What have you built that you haven't let yourself properly claim?

Sit with it. And if something comes up, hit reply. I read everything.

This is often where we start in async coaching - looking at what your existing evidence actually shows about you. Not what you should be doing differently: what you've already done, seen clearly, possibly for the first time.

If you're ready to look at it, find out how async coaching works here.

In your corner always,

Sam 💛

P.S. Know someone who's been waiting to be discovered rather than making themselves visible? Forward this to them!

Sam Sheppard

Introvert Strategist

Neuroscience-backed insights for introverts who are tired of adapting to a world that wasn't built for them.

P.P.S. Async coaching works by email, voice note or text - no scheduled calls, no performing, no showing up before you're ready. You bring what's on your mind when it's on your mind. Find out how it works here.

128 City Road, London, London EC1V 2NX
Unsubscribe · Preferences

Sam Sheppard

Finally understand why you're wired the way you are! Weekly neuroscience-backed insights for introverts who are tired of adapting to a world that wasn't built for them.

Read more from Sam Sheppard
The introvert OS logo: serif text in black font with a sunrise square surrounding the 'OS'

Hey Reader, A message arrived this week that I keep coming back to. Someone - I'll call him Dave - wrote to tell me that for most of his 56 years he's been asking the same question: what is wrong with me? Reading my posts, he said, had brought him to a much clearer understanding of himself. For the first time, he could acknowledge that this is who he is. And that it's okay to be how he is. That acceptance is powerful. It's also just the beginning. Next Monday, the same meetings are still in...

The introvert OS logo: serif text in black font with a sunrise square surrounding the 'OS'

Hey Reader, A few weeks ago I delivered a workshop I shouldn't have agreed to. The contract alone should have told me everything I needed to know. It was someone else's design, and involved demonstrating a role play with a professional actor - not my comfort zone - and cycling participants through breakout rooms in a way that felt relentless rather than purposeful. It was only 90 minutes long and on paper I was fine. Professional. Nobody would have known I was uncomfortable and not delivering...

Sam is smiling at the camera wearing a black and white polka dot dress and a black cardigan. Behind her is a gradient yellow and orange background, like a sunrise

Why asking feels impossible (even when you know) ↓ Hey Reader, Someone asks what you need and your mind goes completely blank. Not because you don't need anything. You need plenty. But the moment the question lands, something shuts down. The words that were almost there a moment ago simply vanish. I've spent most of my life in that moment: Needing support I couldn't name. Wanting to ask for things I couldn't articulate. Sitting across from someone who genuinely wanted to help and having...