Hey Reader,
Have you ever looked around and wondered, How did I get here?
It’s surprisingly easy to end up on a path that was never really ours.
Maybe it’s the job that looks good on paper but drains you, or the life choices shaped by other people’s expectations rather than your own desires.
At Stanford University’s Life Design Lab, students use a simple but powerful tool to avoid this trap: The Compass.
[If you got the reference in me renaming it the Golden Compass then we need to be besties! 😉]
The Compass is made up of two parts: your workview and your lifeview:
- Workview: What does work mean to you? What makes it feel good and worthwhile?
- Lifeview: What do you believe about life? What really matters?
When these two align, life makes sense.
You can connect the dots between who you are, what you believe, and what you are doing.
This is how you live in alignment and not someone else's life.
My Journey: From Side Quests to the Main Quest
When I look back, I've lived someone else's life many times - I just didn't realise it in the moment.
I spent 12 years as a teacher of English, even though I'd never had any burning desire to teach: I kept being told at school and university I'd be good at it, and after my university boyfriend decided to apply for a PGCE (teaching qualification) in our final year, I did too so we could continue living our student best lives together.
I was then offered a job and somehow locked myself into a life I never really wanted for over a decade.
And it's taken me the best part of a decade to truly learn my lesson.
I beat 7000 applicants to get offered a Management Traineeship in a financial institution, only to resign after a year as I realised corporate office life made me feel like a battery hen in a cage and my moral code wasn't at ALL aligned with this environment.
I'd only applied as I wanted to escape teaching and it was the only option I could find that didn't require me to take a massive pay cut - at the time I was saving for a mortgage.
When I was offered the role with Google, I thought I was being smart by telling them I'd only accept working three days a week as opposed to the five they wanted, as in my head I'd be able to work on my own side hustles on my non Google days.
But the reality was I stayed at Google about two years longer than I should have.
It may have been a more seductive corporate environment than Finance, but I really didn't agree on a moral level with a lot of the behind the scenes stuff, I was consistently too burnt out to do anything other than sleep on my non Google days - and office life just isn't for me.
I stayed for the community I'd built, ignoring what I truly wanted from life because it was a stable income.
And, if I'm honest, because I didn't have a clue how to build the life I truly wanted. When I left, it took me several months to recover.
I've also stayed in relationships that weren't right for me because I thought I should be fighting to make them work, rather than choosing a partner based on alignment.
For all those years, I was living someone else's life, guided by external expectations or societal pressures rather than my own compass.
This misalignment left me feeling unfulfilled, burnt out and disconnected.
I've always known I wanted a life of time, location and financial freedom.
An unconventional, extraordinary, life.
But with no connections, mentors or role models, I had not a single clue how to make it a reality.
Until now.
Your Quest: Build Your Golden Compass
Embarking on your quest involves introspection:
- Workview Reflection: Spend 30 minutes reflecting upon what work means to you. Don’t list job titles: explore why you work, what 'good' work looks like, and what role money, growth, or purpose play. Focus on the why rather than the what. Aim to write around a 250 word summary, as what you're creating is your philosophy of work.
- Lifeview Reflection: Dedicate another 30 minutes to explore your beliefs about life, its purpose, and your values. What do you believe about the world? What makes life meaningful? Do you believe in a higher power? What’s the role of love, conflict, faith or justice? Aim to write a 250 word summary of your life philosophy.
- Alignment Analysis: Examine where your workview and lifeview complement or clash. Does one drive the other? This analysis often leads to 'aha' moments, providing clarity on necessary adjustments.
There are no wrong answers. The only way to do this exercise incorrectly is not to do it at all.
Your Compass also isn't static; it evolves as you grow.
Regular recalibration ensures it reflects your current self, guiding you toward a well-designed life.
Students at Stanford have found that aligning these views enhances their sense of self and infuses their lives with meaning.
Now, it's your turn to build your own Golden Compass and embark on the quest of designing your life - a journey that's uniquely yours.
My challenge to you is to set aside some time this week to complete this exercise.
Hit reply if you want a little extra help with this exercise, or have any questions, or if you want to tell me about your 'aha' moment!
We're doing this together: I've used it recently too, after my rock bottom moment, to recalibrate and to ensure that - no matter what happens - I'm going to be staying true to my main quest from here on in.
Same time next week?
In your corner always,
Sam 💛
