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You think you need a break. But what you really need…is a boundary.

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Hey Reader,

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I used to think feeling drained after every workday was just part of being an adult.

Even when I had a part-time contract with Google - and in theory plenty of time to rest, recover, pursue my own projects - I was more exhausted than I'd ever been.

I'd take long weekends. Sleep in. Do all the self-care things.

But Monday would roll around and I'd feel that familiar dread creeping back in.

Because here's what I didn't realise: I wasn't tired from the work itself; I was tired from saying yes when I meant no.

From working beyond the agreed terms because I felt guilty setting limits, to checking emails at 9pm because saying "I'll respond tomorrow" felt too confrontational.

No amount of walks in nature could fix what one uncomfortable conversation would have prevented.

By the time I left that project, it took me six months to recover.

Six months where I couldn't even think about building my own business because I'd given everything away to avoid disappointing someone else.

Unbound Shift

Rest won't fix what boundary-setting will.

This is an example of what I call an unbound shift.

As introverts, we mistake people-pleasing for kindness and exhaustion for productivity. We'd rather drain ourselves than have one awkward conversation.

But here's what I wish someone had told me sooner: you have permission to protect your energy.

Boundaries aren't walls that keep people out: they're gates that protect what matters most so you can show up fully for what actually deserves your attention.

Simple boundaries look like:

• Saying "I'll get back to you tomorrow" instead of responding immediately.
• Leaving work at work instead of checking emails at 9pm.
• Saying "That doesn't work for me" without a 10-minute explanation.

The real exhaustion isn't from being busy. It's from being misaligned - living in constant tension between who you are and who you think you should be.

Reply and tell me: where do you need a boundary most right now?

I read every response, and honestly, your answers help me understand what we're all struggling with.

Unbound Step

Knowing you need boundaries and actually setting them? That's where most of us get stuck.

Here's a micro-tool to start today: The Pause Practice.

Before automatically saying yes to any request, give yourself permission to say: "Let me check my calendar and get back to you." Even if your calendar is empty. Even if you know you're free.

This 24-hour buffer lets you decide from intention, not impulse. It breaks the people-pleasing autopilot that has you saying yes before you've even processed what you're agreeing to.

Start small: use it once this week.

Notice how it feels to choose your timing over someone else's urgency (spoiler: terrifying at first, then deeply relieving).

If you're ready to go deeper than micro-tools and want the full framework to reclaim your energy, time, and authentic self, my Life Unbound workbook meets you exactly where you are. Get it here →​

Just between you and I, everyone who submits a review for the workbook gets my Boundary Setting Playbook with scripts and frameworks for the conversations you've been avoiding FREE, as a thank you for your time.

You can start your reset today.

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In your corner always,

Sam 💛

Sam Sheppard Introvert Life Design Strategist

Let's connect! 👋🏻 You can find me on LinkedIn, Instagram, TikTok and Threads.
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