Hey Reader,
I'm not where I thought I'd be by now.
In January, my life imploded. I lost everything and this newsletter was actually part of my plan to rebuild from the rubble - my first Odyssey plan (a potential future path where I could combine a passion with building a lil' one person online business).
I thought by now I'd have it all figured out.
That I'd be further along in rebuilding, earning the sort of income you see others post about and back in good physical and mental health.
Instead, I'm sitting here six months later, still piecing together the fragments of my life.
I'm no closer to getting back to London and the life I loved. My business - honestly - isn't doing great. And since March, when I got a nasty virus that turned out to be the gift that's kept on giving, my health has been really poor. I'm constantly depleted and in pain.
And you know what? That's okay.
The shame spiral that comes with not being 'healed' or 'fixed' on some imaginary timeline is just another form of self-abandonment. Another way we beat ourselves up for being human instead of machines.
If you're reading this and feeling behind, disappointed in your progress, or frustrated that you're not where you 'should' be by mid-year - or in life - take a breath.
The timeline you're measuring yourself against probably isn't even yours.
Here's what I've learned in these six months of trying to rebuild: real transformation doesn't happen on a schedule. It happens in tiny moments of choosing yourself over the version of yourself that everyone else expects.
The question isn't, "Why aren't you further along?"
The question is, "How can you be more compassionate with where you are right now?"
Because the journey back to yourself isn't a race. It's a homecoming. And you can't rush coming home.
Unbound Shift
Beating yourself up is bad strategy.
Here's what the productivity industry doesn't want you to know: self-criticism is terrible for creating lasting change.
Yet everywhere you look, the message is the same: you need to be harder on yourself. More disciplined. More accountable. Push through the resistance. No excuses.
This approach has created an epidemic of high-functioning burnout among achievers who mistake self-punishment for self-improvement.
But neuroscience tells a different story: when you operate from self-criticism, you activate your brain's threat detection system.
This floods your system with cortisol, narrows your thinking, and puts you in survival mode - the exact opposite of the creative, expansive state you need for real transformation.
Self-compassion, on the other hand, research suggests may activate the caregiving system in your brain.
Studies indicate this can be associated with the release of oxytocin and reductions in cortisol, creating the psychological safety necessary for taking risks, trying new things, and changing ingrained patterns.
In other words: you literally cannot shame yourself into sustainable change. You can only create change from a foundation of acceptance and understanding.
This isn't about lowering standards or making excuses.
It's about recognising that self-compassion is a strategic advantage, not a weakness. When you stop wasting energy on self-attack, you free up that energy for actual growth.
The most successful people I work with have learned this counter-intuitive truth: being kind to yourself isn't the easy path - it's the effective one.
Unbound Step
The intelligence you've been ignoring lives below your neck.
What if your body has been trying to tell you something your mind keeps overriding?
We've been conditioned to treat our bodies as inconvenient vessels that need to be managed, pushed through, or optimised. But your body is actually your most honest advisor - it doesn't lie the way your thoughts do, doesn't perform the way your ego does, and doesn't people-please the way your conditioned responses do.
Here's a practice that will reconnect you with this overlooked intelligence:
The Body Wisdom Check-In
Once each day, stop what you're doing and ask your body - not your mind - what it needs right now.
Don't think about the answer. Feel for it.
Notice where tension lives in your shoulders, what your breathing is telling you, how your energy actually feels versus how you think it should feel. Your body might tell you it needs movement, or stillness, or boundaries, or nourishment, or space to feel what it's feeling.
The key is to ask without immediately problem-solving or dismissing what comes up.
Just listen.
Your body has been keeping score of every compromise, every time you've ignored your instincts, every moment you've performed instead of just being.
This isn't about fixing anything. It's about remembering that true self-compassion starts with actually listening to yourself - not just thinking about listening to yourself.
Try this for one week and notice: what has your body been trying to tell you that your mind has been too busy to hear?
This simple practice of somatic attunement is the foundation of authentic living.
You can't live aligned with who you really are if you're disconnected from the intelligence that lives in your body.
And it's what I've been focused on doing as I learn to keep prioritising my needs whilst also designing my way forward - as slowly as it takes.
Ready to go deeper? Life Unbound is a 14-day gentle reset specifically designed for introverts who are tired of living someone else's version of success.
Reply and tell me: what's one thing you've lost touch with in the first half of 2025? I read every email.
In your corner always,
Sam 💛
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Sam Sheppard
Introvert Life Design Strategist
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