Hey Reader,
Here’s a thought: what if the thing that could make you feel better right now - genuinely, viscerally, better - isn’t fixing your life…
…but shifting how you see what’s already there?
Before you click away thinking this is going to be woo woo nonsense, stay with me.
Because the data is actually wild.
According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, it can increase your happiness by 10% and decrease depressive symptoms by 35% when practiced consistently.
And in a landmark 2003 study by Emmons & McCullough, participants who practised it weekly were 25% happier, had fewer physical complaints, and exercised more.
They also reported a significant improvement in wellbeing in just three weeks.
And what is this magical cheat code?
Gratitude.
Here's why it's especially beneficial for introverts:
Your Brain Is Wired for Worry
We introverts often live rich inner lives. But that same depth of thought that gives us our insights also makes us particularly vulnerable to overthinking.
I see it in my coaching clients all the time.
Emmons, the world's leading scientific expert on gratitude, found in his research that our brains are naturally wired to focus on threats and problems.
It's not your fault. It's your brain trying to protect you.
But here's what researchers at UCLA discovered: gratitude is a neurological override switch that can redirect these thought patterns.
Put simply: gratitude rewires your brain.
And it doesn’t take years.
It takes minutes.
I call it the cheat code because it works even when everything else feels stuck:
- When the job hasn’t landed yet
- When your knees ache and motivation’s in hiding
- When the person you hoped would love you back… doesn’t
Gratitude doesn’t erase those things.
But it gives your nervous system a break from scanning for threats.
It tells your body, “You’re not in danger. There’s still something good here.”
Neuroscience has found that gratitude boosts dopamine and serotonin - the very chemicals that lift mood, motivation and resilience.
I wrote last week about rebuilding from the rubble after my life imploded.
Honestly? There have been times this year where it's felt like there's nothing good in my life, but I started practising gratitude around two years ago and no matter how bleak things have seemed, each night I am able to remind myself there's always something good in my life.
People always tell me I'm strong. Resilient. Brave.
But, really, one of the main things that's been getting me through is gratitude.
Try this:
Choose a time each day which you will reserve for gratitude practice.
Just like morning routines, you have to do what will work for YOU and not what everyone else is doing.
Most people who do this have a gratitude journal that they write in each morning or night.
But I know myself and I wouldn't be consistent.
So I stripped it back to something I can do no matter where I am or what's happening in my life:
Each night, right before I go to sleep, I mentally list all the things that I am grateful for from that day.
It's not aspirational. Not performative. Just… real.
And it works for me.
Some days it's easier than others, of course, but no matter how bleak things have seemed I've always found something.
For example, even on the day I got evicted from the home I loved after my S21 I could be grateful that I'd had a safe journey to my new place and a friend who'd helped me store some stuff.
Last night mine were:
- Sunshine.
- A friend checking in on me.
- The random DM I got from a stranger telling me how my content had helped them.
The general advice is to aim for at least three things, but I don't set any targets for myself; I just have to think of something. It could even be that my legs work.
No overthinking. Just noticing.
And here’s what’s magical:
When you practise this daily - even for a week or two - your brain starts scanning automatically for what's working.
Your attention shifts.
And the world softens, just a little. You stop waiting to feel 'ready'.
You start recognising what’s already supporting you. And that changes how you move - in work, in relationships, in life.
Gratitude isn’t woo.
It’s a neurological pattern interrupter.
A way of coming back to centre when everything else is off-kilter.
And it dovetails perfectly with life design.
Happiness by Design
Most happiness isn't determined by circumstances.
It will be largely determined by how many times you're willing to pause, notice what's good, express appreciation, and be okay with things not being perfect.
So breathe more consciously.
Notice more goodness.
Express more thanks.
Not because any of these singular actions will change your life overnight.
But because collectively, over time, they almost certainly add up to more contentment.
And remember, the people who seem to have found peace aren't usually just the ones with perfect lives.
They're the ones who took the most opportunities to be grateful.
So start noticing today.
And if today’s email stirred something? Hit reply. I’d love to hear what you’re grateful for right now.
Next week we're continuing our life design journey and as the beta testing phase comes to an end, keep an eye out because I'm launching something new in May that I think you are going to LOVE! I'm excited to share it with you.
In your corner always,
Sam 💛
