Hey Reader,
I don’t think I’ve ever felt more out of control than I have this past week.
It was as if everything in my life came crashing down all at once, and I was left doggy paddling in the middle of the ocean without a life raft.
If you've been in my community for a while, you'll know that I was ‘exiled’ from the life I loved in London at the end of January due to a double whammy of getting a no-fault eviction AND losing my main, regular, client at the same time.
Being forced to leave London, a place that felt like home for so long, to return to my hometown in Wales - the place I’ve always felt disconnected from - was heartbreaking.
I felt like a stranger in my own life.
The weather’s been so bad I haven’t seen the sky in two weeks, which has meant I've really had to battle to keep my mental health from crashing and burning.
I've been isolated from my community, access to my hobbies and almost everything I love; I miss the life I had so much.
And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, my MacBook - the heart of my business - died. It was a LOT.
I spent all of Friday crying, unable to sleep, overwhelmed by the sheer terror of needing to replace it and how that expense would mean I couldn't really justify travelling yet.
I truly hit rock bottom.
But then something shifted. I saw a TikTok about The Detox Period.
Seeing this TikTok was like a spark of hope. Something clicked.
Maybe, just maybe, my entire life falling apart was part of the plan: The Universe was clearing the way for something new.
Something better.
Maybe my whole life is falling apart because it needs to.
The Detox Period
This is the concept that your old life needs to fall apart to make way for your new life.
Often, bad things seem to happen in clusters: in 2015 I had to cancel my wedding, got made redundant and had to sell the home I loved. But what came next was SO much better than the life I'd ever imagined for myself before these things happened.
Before I left London, I'd been holding on to this - telling myself to trust the process.
But, with everything getting too much, I'd lost my ability to reframe my thoughts. To hope.
Seeing the TikTok reminded me that rather than focusing on all that could go wrong I needed to instead ask, What if it all works out?
What if… The Universe is reorganising things, making space for something new? And sometimes, this means losing the old life that doesn’t serve us anymore.
Your new life will cost you your old life.
I realised that this past week had brought me back to a pivotal moment: I had already chosen to leave London, choosing authenticity and the pursuit of my dream life over a 'safe' path, like getting a 9-5 just to stay in a place that I wanted to be.
If I am going to live, not exist, I had to take a risk.
I had to choose growth over comfort.
Because I know from experience that a 9 to 5 sucks the life out of me altogether, as well as leaving me incapable of working on my dreams in my spare time.
I'm the sort of person who needs to go ALL IN.
But that choice, I now see, comes with the price of having to let go of the old life I was comfortable with. Like, completely.
And it’s scary.
But here’s what I’m learning:
Your new life will cost you your old life. And that’s OK. It’s not a loss. It’s just the messy middle.
And the trick is not to fear it. The trick is to lean into it.
To remember that this is just the detox period. And the only way forward is to accept that your new life is going to cost you your old one.
So, instead of spiralling into fear, I’m focusing on the small moments of joy in each day. Finding gratitude in the simple things - like the amazing Tanzanian restaurant I discovered this weekend when trying to get my laptop fixed - and reminding myself that this too shall pass.
This week, as we continue to work on the problems we talked about last time, I want to encourage you to embrace this idea with me.
If you’re going through a rough patch, if it feels like everything’s unravelling… it might just be the Universe making room for your next chapter.
The Detox Period might feel like a loss. But really, it’s a necessary step toward your next breakthrough.
Take a deep breath, lean into the discomfort, and trust that what’s coming is better than what you’re leaving behind.
I’d love to hear what small moments of joy have been getting you through your lows recently - hit reply and let me know!
In your corner always,
Sam 💛
