When you don’t enjoy what everyone else seems to love...

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Hey Reader,

Lately I’ve been noticing a pattern.

Different people, different stories, same emotional thread.

Someone dreading a Christmas party her colleagues are all looking forward to. A friend confessing that she'd rather elope than have the expected big wedding day. A client that just doesn't enjoy large social gatherings.

And two people admitted something they’d never said out loud: “I don’t want the life everyone else seems to want - and I feel guilty about it.”

Different situations, same feeling underneath:

“Everyone else seems to enjoy this. Why don’t I?”

And I get it. I've been there: I've never liked parties, wanted children or aspired to climb a corporate ladder. My dreams are of freedom, flights and a life that's fully, unapologetically, mine. Unbound.

I've never felt like I fit in - anywhere.

And the weight of the judgement of others felt heavy for most of my life.

When you don’t want the established 'norms' - when the celebration format exhausts you, or the life path feels wrong for your wiring - you don’t immediately question the format.

You question yourself.

You assume you’re ungrateful, antisocial, awkward, difficult: not quite made for the world you’re living in.

But the truth is usually simpler: your nervous system is reacting honestly to environments and expectations that were built around other people’s thresholds, not yours.

Unbound Shift

Your feelings are valid.

There's no moral obligation to enjoy events that deplete you.

You're allowed to hate weddings. You're allowed to dread birthday parties. You're allowed to feel nothing but relief when an event is cancelled.

This doesn't make you a bad friend, a terrible person, or socially deficient.

It makes you an introvert navigating a world designed for extroverts (it's the societal bias in action) whilst being told your discomfort is a personal failing to overcome.

The right response to "I hate these kinds of events" isn't "You just need to reframe your attitude."

It's "Then don't go to them. Or go differently."

Because you're allowed to choose the life that works for YOU.

Whether that's one-on-one meet-ups, a cosy night at home or an entire life that looks different to 'the norm'.

The people who truly value you will understand.

The people who don't...well, they were never really seeing you anyway.

Unbound Step

Write down one type of event you're allowed to dislike because it costs you more than you have to give.

Complete this sentence:

"I'm allowed to dislike..."

Examples:

• "...birthday parties with large groups of strangers."
• "...baby showers that last four hours."
• "...weddings that last a whole weekend."
• "...brunch that requires performing enthusiasm before noon."
• "...any event where leaving early is seen as rude."

Write it down. Say it out loud. Give yourself permission to be honest about what depletes you.

Then decide: for the next event like this, will you go anyway? Will you go differently?

Or will you honour your truth and decline?

There's no right answer. But there is an honest one.

What event are you allowed to dislike? Hit reply and tell me.

In your corner always,

Sam 💛

P.S. Knowing you're allowed to dislike something doesn't automatically solve the guilt when you decline. That's where language matters.

My Boundary Setting Playbook gives you that language. Click the bold orange writing to find out more!

Sam Sheppard Introvert OS™ I share practical tools to help you design a life that actually fits.

Let's connect! 👋🏻 You can find me on LinkedIn, Instagram, TikTok and Threads. Catch up with past editions on my website.
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