Hey Reader,

For the first time in more than ten years, I'm an employee again.

I took on a part-time role this summer, and I'll be honest: it's been harder than I expected.

Spending years telling organisations how to work better for introverts is one thing. Sitting inside one, at a remote company that still runs on meetings and feeling the system press on you from the inside, has been quite another.

So I did what I tell my clients to do.

Early on, I told my line manager how back-to-back meetings affect me and how I work best.

She changed her calendar settings that week. Her half-hour meetings now run five minutes shorter, and her hour-long ones finish ten minutes early.

Everyone she meets with gets a break between calls, because once she understood the impact of back-to-back meetings, she didn't want anyone working that way.

A few weeks later, our new team jumped on a call to decide how often we should meet. Someone pointed out that we're all part-time, so maybe fortnightly or monthly would be better than weekly.

I said my strong preference was to meet when there's a reason to meet, rather than booking a slot because that's what teams do. I explained why, and what we'd all gain from it.

Everyone agreed.

We now have a pinned document in our team channel, and anyone can add something to it when they have something they want to discuss. Once there are a few things on the list, we meet, and the list becomes our agenda.

These changes are actually quite simple, but they've had a profound impact on my energy and wellbeing.

I'm telling you this because some of you who've joined recently have written to me about being tired of adapting, and of being judged on whether you turn up to the drinks rather than on the quality of your work.

The system is skewed, and you shouldn't have to keep contorting yourself to fit it.

Being back on the inside has reminded me of something, though: a lot of what drains us is a default nobody has ever questioned.

Nobody decreed that meetings should run back to back, or that a team has to meet every week. Someone set them up that way, and sometimes the people around us are relieved when someone finally questions it.

There's research behind this too.

One study found that meetings take a toll on the wellbeing of people whose work needs sustained, focused attention, while having little effect on people whose work is already interactive.

The cost of a meeting-heavy culture doesn't fall evenly; it falls on the people doing the deep thinking.

How you ask matters.

Both times, I explained the impact, what I preferred and why it would help everyone. That last part is usually what turns a request into a change.

So here's your question for this week:

What's one default in your working week that drains you, and that you've never actually asked anyone to change?

Don't overthink it: the first thing that comes to mind is usually the right one.

If you'd like help working out what to say, and how to say it so it's heard, that's exactly what we do in async coaching.

It all happens by email, text or voice note, so there's no meeting about your meetings: https://thisissamsheppard.com/introverts/​

In your corner always,

Sam 💛

P.S. Hit reply and tell me which default you'd change. I'd love to know!

Sam Sheppard Introvert Strategist Neuroscience-backed insights for introverts who are tired of adapting to a world that wasn't built for them.