Hey Reader, For a long time, I believed free time only counted if it was accounted for. If someone asked what I was doing at the weekend and my answer was nothing, that meant I was available. No plans meant no excuse. No excuse meant yes. I spent years on dating apps dreading the inevitable question: What are you up to this weekend? Seven words that I had convinced myself required either a lie, an apology, or an explanation I didn't have yet. Then I had a revelation. Scrolling through social...
about 1 hour ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, My mother has never stopped talking in her life. I mean that with complete love: she is warm and funny and has more stories than anyone I've ever met. A visit with her is like being showered in words - her past, the neighbours, the latest talking point in the town and EVERY detail of every conversation she's had. By the time I leave, I need an hour of silence and sometimes a sleep. For years I assumed that said something about me: a patience problem, maybe. Something to work on....
7 days ago • 1 min read
Hey Reader, For THIRTY years, he assumed the exhaustion was just what work felt like. Last week, I launched my 'User Manual' for introverts and the first testimonial I received echoed something I've heard many times from members of my community: Performing extroversion comes at a cost, and it's a cost we often only realise years - or even decades - later than we should. This customer also told me in a DM that, "Sadly I really needed this information about 25 years ago". I think what he wrote...
14 days ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader, "Be more visible." That's it. That's the feedback. No framework. No explanation of what visible even means for someone who thinks the way you think.Just an instruction to change. I lost count of the number of times I was told this: in performance reviews, from managers, from well-meaning mentors who could see I was capable and couldn't understand why I kept making myself small. Then this month I got a LinkedIn DM from a follower who'd experienced the exact same thing. Their...
21 days ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader, My mortgage was approved on a Tuesday. I resigned the same day. I'd beaten over 7,000 applicants to get that job. A management traineeship at one of the UK's biggest banks. They'd told me I was a leader of the future. I had a structured graduate programme, a career path and every external marker of having got it 'right'. And I felt like a battery hen. It was my first taste of corporate and I was horrified of the reality of it. The office environment drained me in a way I didn't...
28 days ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader, This week, when searching my files for something, I found a spreadsheet I'd made a few years ago where I'd collated my qualifications, accomplishments, feedback and a survey I'd done of people who know me when I was training as a coach.I updated it, and then asked AI to analyse it.I'm not sure what I was expecting but it was NOT what I got: I'm world-class at facilitating training I have the kind of proof most speakers never accumulate (but have done nothing with it) I've been...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Hey Reader, A few weeks ago I delivered a workshop I shouldn't have agreed to. The contract alone should have told me everything I needed to know. It was someone else's design, and involved demonstrating a role play with a professional actor - not my comfort zone - and cycling participants through breakout rooms in a way that felt relentless rather than purposeful. It was only 90 minutes long and on paper I was fine. Professional. Nobody would have known I was uncomfortable and not delivering...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
Why asking feels impossible (even when you know) ↓ Hey Reader, Someone asks what you need and your mind goes completely blank. Not because you don't need anything. You need plenty. But the moment the question lands, something shuts down. The words that were almost there a moment ago simply vanish. I've spent most of my life in that moment: Needing support I couldn't name. Wanting to ask for things I couldn't articulate. Sitting across from someone who genuinely wanted to help and having...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
The decisions I've been circling for years... ↓ Hey Reader, Basically my whole life. That's the honest answer to the question, "Can you think of a decision you've circled for longer than you should have?" Not one decision. Not a phase I went through. A pattern so consistent, and so exhausting, that for years I assumed it was just who I was: Someone who couldn't make her mind up. Someone who made everything harder than it needed to be. What I understand now is that I wasn't indecisive. I was...
2 months ago • 1 min read